Last Sunday at church, I was feeling SO frustrated because I had been in such a dry spell for quite awhile. Something had been holding me back from the childlike faith that I used to have. Something had kept me feeling bitter, and heavy. I didn't love God like I wanted to love Him. That's such a horrible feeling-to know that the God of the universe who deserves every bit of my love and more, was only getting a morsel of it. It's selfish on every level, and sad. It kept me dry and I started feeling withered. I had this longing for the desire to know God more.
So during church, the pastor called people up to the front who were just really needing God, and wanting to draw near to Him. People who were needing healing from something, and just felt like they needed to reach out to God. I didn't feel like going up, and was still feeling dry. I didn't even really have faith that it would change anything in me, but I went up and prayed a dry prayer...which was what I felt, all I had to offer up. God deserves SO SO SO much more than what I gave him, but in His mercy and grace, He accepted it.
After church, I got prayer from two ladies who were dripping in God's love. They layed hands on my shoulders, and on my heart. I didn't "feel" anything, but knew that God's presence was strong in that moment. I walked away with no different "feeling," but a renewed faith.
Today is Wednesday, and I can't explain how much different my attitude is. My faith is so different, and I don't feel as dry and lacking in zeal. I could never love my God enough, but my thirst for Him is so much stronger and my desire to be with Him runs through my veins like a hot fire! I'm so excited!
So that's all. Just thought I'd share. Get some prayer-God wants to talk with you and get closer to you.
Loving you!
Alex.
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